Three things NOT TO DO if you want to get your ex back

From the article: Three things NOT TO DO if you want to get your ex back at HelpGettingBackTogether.com

We all know the effect alcohol can have on someone...you lose your inhibition...and quite often lack common sense...especially if you are driven by any frustrating feelings...Drinking because youre having a night out with your friends is one thing...but to try to drink in hope of drinking your problems away...is something you want to avoid at ALL COST...It is counter productive... and you will most likely act or say something stupid

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Getting Back Together Signs are not always as they appear

Getting Back Together: Signs are not always as they appear

When should you pay attention to signs your ex wants you back? You must know the difference between which signs are actual and which are unreliable.
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Top 10 things to do to get her back

We have a new article on HelpGettingBackTogether.com. Heres the intro:

Lets say your girlfriend broke up with you, against your wishes. And lets say you want to get her back. You are probably asking yourself -- what are the top things to do to get her back? And like many other guys, you probably turn to Google to find an answer.

You know what happens when you do your search? You get overwhelmed with thousands -- even millions -- of people trying to tell you want to do. Everybodys got an answer.

So then youre faced with the task of sifting through all this information, and looking for the best solutions that will work for you and your girlfriend, and your situation.

Wouldnt it help if you could find a list of all the things to do to get her back, all in one place?

Thats why Im writing this article: Im going to try to list every memorable method Ive come across, so you can figure out which ones you want more information on.

Read the full text here, about things to do to get her back: Top 10 things to do to get her back

Enjoy!
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New Featured Get Your Ex Back Articles

Several new articles today, in the featured article library at HelpGettingBackTogether.com:

• 
  How a rebound relationship can work in your favor
  If you have broken up with the love of your life and she is in a rebound relationship, how do you get her back?


• How to get back together with my ex in 3 steps
  Wondering how to get back together with my ex? What you should actually do at this point is the opposite of what you are feeling.


• Learn how to get her back
  These are just the beginning steps in winning your ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life.


• Things I learned when she dumped me
  Okay, I'll admit, I've been dumped. More than once. More than I'd like to admit, actually. Recently, even.

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10 Songs Ive Cried To

When I briefly pause and contemplate what I’m trying to achieve here, I realise all of this is pretty stupid. I am yet to feel pride for any of my articles which focus specifically on songs (2014’s The 20 Greatest Songs Of All Time was not even my opinion, and 2015’s The 100 Best Songs Of The Decade So Far was understandably laughed at by most people), and similarly, I am yet to like any of those autobiographical music pieces either (remember 2013’s 25 Albums That Changed My Life? No, me neither). But here I find myself writing not only a combination of those two regrettable themes, but doing so whilst exposing the weaker side of my human by admitting I have indeed cried before. Which, according to Robert Smith, boys don’t do.

Well, here’s the thing: I wrote this blog because I don’t have much time this month, and it’s a very easy filler piece, one which I can quickly shove out with minimal effort and then relax afterwards, so whatever, Becki. Also, Robert Smith has definitely cried before, I think thats what he was actually saying, and you just know the dude couldn’t take a punch to the face. Anyway, if nothing else, this article shows I have a heart and you should love and care for me.

1. Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven

Its poetic how the first song I recall reducing me to tears, was in fact focused upon the very act of crying itself. My exact age is long forgotten, but I was definitely a mini-kiddie, sitting in my lounge, probably smiling along to this great little guitar piece, because I smiled a lot when I was a child. That’s when my father sadistically informed me that this emotionally driven single told the painful tale of loss and suffering, as Eric was mourning his four-year-old son who had fallen to his death from a 53rd story window. Well, naturally my delicate undeveloped heart couldn’t quite comprehend a father and son being forced apart in such a tragic manner, and I burst into a puddle of my own grievance for this poor man, while my own father just laughed at me. In fact, my dad still finds the story hilarious, and continues to tell this very narrative at every family gathering he can.

2. Placebo - My Sweet Prince

Fast forward many many years later when I was already a corrupt teenager, and naturally I knew my masculinity card removed all rights to weep at anything—let alone something as trivial as music. So I built a nice little wire fence around my feelings and swallowed any pathetic melancholy down into the depths of my stomach until they boiled over into an aggressive anger, which was a much more acceptable manly response, and still is to this day. However, my security system kinda stopped working when I was perhaps 14 or 15 and had dedicated a large portion to my life to smoking weed, which inadvertently crumbled these walls of defense one by one, rendering any sort of regular emotional balance impossible (or at least not as important as getting high). And that’s when this song came in, as my one friend and I got perhaps a little bit too stoned, put on this record, and shared a little snivel in each other’s arms. These sobs were less provoked by the song’s emotion, mind you, but rather by the overall beauty of the moment. “It’s like, a jellyfish, man,” I distinctly recall my mate telling me. Oh wow, soooo truuuuue.

3. John Legend - Ordinary People

And this is where things get dark, I’m sorry. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later, as by the time I was 21 years old, I could no longer sustain the harmony between reckless self destruction and the art of staying alive. I think anyone playing this type of dangerous game would inevitably find themselves crashing into one direction or the other, being forced to make the drastic decision whether they wanted to live or die. In my case, 2005 was coming to an end, and my life had melted into a string of shit. I wasn’t particularly interested in being myself and had resigned to letting myself slowly waste away until I hopefully disappeared completely. Which is why, thinking back, I’m surprised I made the last minute dive towards rescue like I did, and ended up checking myself into a clinic. Proud of my chosen path, I called up the love of my life and enthusiastically told her the news that I was finally going to get better. “That’s great,” she responded. “But I can’t do this anymore. It’s over.” In hindsight, it makes sense why she would break up with the miserable fuck I was, but at the time, it felt like I had been kicked at my lowest point. To combat this inner dilemma, I embarked on a four day binge without a blink of sleep, finally crashing out and then waking up some time later in a state from Satan, an hour before my dad was set to pick me up and take me to the loony bin. To kill the excruciating waiting time, I turned on the TV, and this Legend song was the first thing that came on. Damn, I remember it so well, it perfectly summed up all the things I felt for my ex in that moment, and when coupled with the nasty after-effects of the yesterdays indulgence (as well as the apprehension towards a two month lockdown with crazy people), I dramatically broke into pieces on the floor, sobbing my life out into the carpet, leaving this as probably the most bleak entry on the list. In fact, when I think about the song I’ve cried to, this is always the first that comes to mind.

4. The Beatles - For No One

Following on flawlessly from that last entry: a month after I had been committed to the mental ward, I started feeling pretty damn perky. I had been stuffed fill of professional home cooking, I had attended countless therapy sessions, I had met plenty of fuckups who were much worse than me, and I had completed the first stint with a badge of honour. The medication was working! My brain-chemicals were balanced for perhaps the first time in my life! And because of my good behaviour, I was granted a much more lenient second month, of which allowed such luxuries as music and visitors! Wow! Which was fucking perfect for me, because it was around here that I had become a terminal Beatlemaniac, and needed my regular fix of The Fab Four to keep my happy pouches wet. However, this song specifically had a bit of an opposite effect on me, as once again its words seemed to describe the latter days of my ex-girlfriend so accurately, and I cried to it more than once. But, being the vengeful asshole I am, I did utilise the track to my own gain, forcing the aforementioned girl to listen to the song herself when she visited me, whilst brutally explaining the turmoil she had put me through. She cried too that day. Bless her, really.

5. Tracy Chapman - Fast Car

In all fairness, there isn’t much of a story here. I was 23 years young, sitting at my desk during my very first job, and this song invited itself into my headphones. The weird thing is that I’d heard it many times before as one of my mother’s favourites, but I think on this occasion I was super hungover or something, and I totally choked up at the potent lyrics of hope and the charmingly simply guitar work. Thankfully, no one noticed my unprofessionalism, which was lucky, but I still happily consider this track to be one very cry-worthy composition which nobody should be ashamed of letting go to.

6. The Chariot - Cheek.

And then I guess I grew up and ran out of tears, because it wasn’t until 2012 that I can recall crying over a song again. In fact, to label this ‘a song’ is to almost do it a disservice, as it is essentially a soundbyte from the final Charlie Chaplin speech in The Great Dictator film, which has actually grown bigger wings and become even more popular on social media in recent times. However, my first introduction to the delivery was many years earlier, extended from the metalcore hands of The Chariot, who added to these powerful words with an aggressive strength only the metal genre could accentuate. And it picked at my tear ducts, not out of grief or distress, but out of encouragement as a member of the human race. It gave me incentive to take action. It inspired me to stand up to the harsh realities of our system. But then I put Rihanna back on and forgot what I was doing.

7. Dustin Kensrue - Pistol

The 27th of March 2012 was not only the day I met Mike Skinner from The Streets, but was also the day when my current brother-in-law proposed to my little sister. He did the deed by performing the above song to her, complete with a live band and in front of a large audience, which obviously takes guts and I respect the dude for it (even if anything to do with love is totally gross and makes me want to vomit). Perhaps these were the reasons as to why this particular rendition didn’t provoke my sadjuices, but it was the first time I’d even heard of the tune, and found myself compulsively revisiting the track over the course of the next few weeks. And each of these listens brought me back to the moment my sister was promised to another family, and that is what eventually produced a tiny cry at how beautiful life can be. And they lived happily ever after.

8. Eddie Vedder - Sleeping By Myself

Fucking girls, man! It was a few mere years ago, near the end of 2013, where I had my second (and last, please God) truly atrociously painful breakup, a result of a girl who I thought I loved, sleeping with a dude I thought was a friend. The dissolution hit me a touch harder than the one before in some respects, perhaps because I was an adult now, and such an irrational agony tends to be more scary when you are expected to have some control over your emotions. It got real bad too, I cried plenty without the need for any music, and there were even a few occasions where I’d completely forget to breathe, I’m not even joking. It was so so fucking horrible, I cannot express this enough, I was extremely depressed. Anyway, at some point during my self loathing, this song invaded my usual trusty playlist, and even though I had heard it a few times before, the lyrics suddenly related quite specifically to my situation at the time. I should have know there was someone else! I will forever be sad and lonely! I will be sleeping by myself tonight! Oh, Eddie, I hear you, buddy! ::cry emoji::

9. La Dispute - I See Everything

An unlikely candidate to sob like a child to would be La Dispute. Because, you know, theyre all post-hardcore and shit. But the lyrics on I See Everything are still some of the most genuinely gut-wrenching words that I have ever come across, turning my eyes damp on multiple occasions and never ever failing to infect me with goosebumps. I don’t know, call me a softy, but songs about kids dying from cancer kinda bother me a bit. A really hard to comprehend factor of life. A scarcely addressed topic in the music world.

10. The Beatles - In My Life

This is a wonderful choice for our send off, because as I previously mentioned, I’ve been a Beatles fanatic for many years now, and the doctors say they can’t do anything to help me. However, there are some of the group’s more highly regarded songs which I never really connected to as much as the general population, and In My Life was definitely one of those offenders for a long time. I can’t accurately explain it now, but I think said song just seemed like some run-of-the-mill Lennon throwaway, forcing an aura of nostalgia without ever quite getting there. Well, that was until 2014, when my little sister married that Pistol boy in one of the most beautiful ceremonies I’ve ever had the pleasure of attending. Afterwards at the reception, the bride and bride’s daddy (my daddy too!) took their customary dance, which as you had already assumed, was held to this song. And then suddenly ... within that context ... it made so much sense. I’m not sure if Lennon even considered his composition to be interpreted from the standpoint of a dad and daughter connection as he hands her over to another man, but the idea simply destroyed me. I burst out, and looked over to my mother for reassurance. Her cheeks too were streaming in liquid, and so we hugged and that felt a bit better.


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Americas Five Founding Fathers Where Great Men and Outlaws! Some Things Dont Change!

By L.J. James

What a crazy world we live in today. Its come to a point where you just dont know what to believe any more. The "news" media has gone from investigative reporting to regurgitating Government and Corporate "News Releases" as actual news.

The thing that I dont understand is, some people actually believe everything they see on TV or read in the paper or on the Internet. You can tell people the Sky is falling but if it wasnt reported on CNN, People will just think your some kind of crazy Chicken Little. Chunks of the sky could be hitting them in the head and they still wouldnt believe it. If CNN reports that the Sky is Falling and states the reason as "human over consumption of oxygen", people start trying to figure out how to stop breathing so they can stop the Sky from falling. It doesnt matter if the real reason is some new Military Toxin.

Lets say there is some national disaster and you say something different from the official Government release on why and how it happened. Now youre some kind of crazy Conspiracy Nut. Again It doesnt matter what kind of proof you have, what kind of scientific evidence you try and present, youre just a nut and no one wants to listen to you. Because We all know the United States Government would never lie to us. Theyd never conspire against the people of this country. Anyone remember The "Gulf of Tonkin" incident? Iran/Contra? Weapons of Mass Destruction?

Were used to hearing about the Government Controlled Media in places like China and Russia, but what of the "News" media in the United States? Just a few months ago our Government was besieged with letters, email, and phone calls by people who were vehemently against the so-called Wall Street Bail-Out. At first the measure failed. CNN broadcast a week of programming designed to "educate" us stupid Americans on the reasons why we needed to pay for this bail-out. The next week it passed.

This is not the "Free Press" our founding fathers envisioned. Our founding fathers envisioned a "Free Press" that would help to keep our Politicians and our Government honest, as a way to speak out against injustices, not an "education" tool.

What has happen to the Spirit of the American people? When did we stop demanding to know the truth about what is going on? When did the Truth get too hard for us to handle? Is it fear? It seems every time someone uses the phrase "National Security", that somehow, we understand thats all we need to know. Is it apathy? What happened to the days of protest, the intolerance of greed and corruption? Throughout History there are examples of great Societies that have fallen, not from outside forces, but from corruption within.

We live in a world of the Future where things that seemed impossible yesterday are common place by tomorrow. For some of us, were too busy trying to make it to tomorrow to worry about what is happening politically in the World. Were too busy working and taking care of our families to seek the truth or get involved with some kind of cause. Many still believe that eventually the Government will take care of us, that despite the loss of our industry, the loss of our jobs, the loss of our freedoms, and the lowering of our standard of living, the Governments still have our best interests at heart.

When we see Governments around the World curtailing our right of assembly, our freedom of speech, do we stand up or do we accept it? Lately, it seems that these political entities have been giving those of us in Motorcycle Clubs a little extra attention. Why is that? Most Motorcycle Clubs are made up of principled, patriotic men who value family, brotherhood and their communities above all else. Many are Veterans of Wars past and present. Why are we viewed as Radicals & Extremists? The Governments of the world have begun pushing hard to break us up, shut us down. As a Biker and a Member of a Motorcycle Club I see many injustices taking place all over the world.

I have seen Motorcycle Clubs names and logos seized in dirty under handed methods. Large Clubs charged with Crimes and their members locked away. Government Agents inserted into clubs for years so that they can introduce drugs and violence into the clubs in an effort to bring them down. Ex Members and "friends" of Motorcycle Clubs offered Millions of Dollars if they can come up with charges against these Motorcycle Clubs!

Just as in any culture or society, there are going to be a few bad apples. The problem is, the Government and the Media have conspired to paint everyone in the Biker World with the same brush. Ill bet it takes you 5 seconds to think of a News Story, Movie, or Documentary that youve seen portraying Bikers negatively, but I bet you cant think of one that shows us feeding the poor, protecting the children, or raising money for every disease known to man.

Watching Motorcycle Clubs slowly being taken down in such blatantly unjust ways is scaring the hell out of me. What makes me sad is at the same time these wolves are getting through the gate and destroying the MC world, Many Motorcycle Clubs continue to fight against each other! These fights are embellished and sensationalized on TV and in the press. They are then used by the Governments of the world as the fuel they need to continue to shut down all Motorcycle Clubs.

Motorcycle Clubs, much like the United States of America, were started with incredible Ideals. Both set down on paper what they were about and what they stood for. It is time for both Motorcycle Clubs and Americans to get back to their core beliefs. I believe with all my Heart that true Members of Motorcycle Clubs hold the ideals of Freedom and Brotherhood higher than any other group anywhere.

As I have said many times before I am no Hippie and I do not preach peace or love, I am a true Biker! It is just that I have realized "Rome is burning" and only by working together can we hope to be able to stop the fire! Motorcycle Clubs are like people and not everyone will always get along, We are always going to have our differences.

What needs to happen now is for members of every Motorcycle Club in the World to look deep inside and ask themselves, "What is the most important thing to me?" If you truly believe in Motorcycle Club Brotherhood, and you have felt true Motorcycle Club Brotherhood, the answer will be simple. We as members of Motorcycle Clubs, need to set aside our differences and unite as one so that we may work together to save the Motorcycle Club world! We must fight against those who would take away everything we are and have us live as slaves.

Next time you hear that a Government or one of its agents has brought down another Brother or a Motorcycle Club you didnt like, dont celebrate, because the next time it will be you and your club. They wont stop until we are all gone.

I am Your Bro, LJ James AmericanBikerX.com - 30535

About the Author:

LJ James does a Radio Motorcycle Show every Wednesday LJ James loves to help show the truth about the Biker life and programs like Sons of Anarchy

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The Rise And Fall Of Modern Day Feminism

I was raised with two sisters, one younger and one older than me. My whole life I have been fascinated with them as human beings, for they are arguably the most headstrong and ambitious people I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. Nothing ever seemed like it could stand in their way, and without complaining about circumstance or doubting their own abilities, I have watched as they separately set out goals and pursued them until they have both achieved success in almost all areas of life—or at least more than I have, anyway. And while I am sure they would have a lot to say about the content in this article themselves, from my outside perspective, I never once heard any accusations of life treating them in any unfair manner or witnessed them wallowing in the pool of self-pity. These two girls are among my top female icons.

I tell you this, because they were perhaps the catalyst for my current attitude towards women as a whole. Growing up (and even as I type this), I always considered females to be the stronger of the genders. Boys appeared to have less control, too quick to act in a macho way, pretending to be something they’re not, finding solutions in insults and fists. Girls, on the other hand, were the more nurturing, compassionate version of the human being, much more willing to listen and faster to admit weakness, which is in reality a sign of strength. I honestly was convinced for a long time that there was a secret within society, one where girls controlled the world and knew it, achieving said ownership by allowing the boys to think the boys were in control, whilst quietly instructing us what to do (and by looking at a lot of relationships, this is often the case).

However, this idea came crashing down very recently, directly connected to the uprising of modern-day-first-world-third-wave feminism. You may have noticed it yourself during the last few years, where this mass influx of interest over said movement, slowly dominated our social feeds and sprouted all over our news sources, and while most of my friends managed to escape it, this shit really messed with my insides. You mean to tell me that girls are not part of some organisation which completely controls the planet? You are saying that they, in actual fact, consider themselves victims of our society? I was disappointed, but even more so, was overwhelmed by guilt. As a male, I was shocked at what they were saying about me and my gender, the wrong things we were doing and saying and thinking, and especially the suggestion that none of these girls felt safe because of us. This would not do. I needed to help.

It consumed me. It swallowed me up and boiled me in its womb. I became obsessed. I studied everything I could on the history of the subject, I read a new article every single day (and still do), I joined forums and I followed relevant twitter accounts, making a load of feminist friends (male and female) along the way. I estimate that I know more about the subject than at least 70% of the community, and Im open to be challenged. And, how exciting, it appeared I had joined the army at just the right time. New reports were pouring in every minute, my facebook was flooded, people were making some noise! It was madness! We were shouting! We were spreading awareness! We were making a difference.

But then one day, I made a mistake. I asked questions.

Id done well at grasping the fundamental basics of feminism: the equality of all people. I knew the topics we were fighting against: the pay gap, the sexualised body image, the lack of sexual freedom, the catcalling, the security of women, etc. However, there were some details I was unsure of, factors which seemed either irrelevant, overly-sensitive, or at times, a little excessively man-hating. And so I started querying things, to the likes of:

Do you ever feel feminism is trying to make boys and girls the same rather than celebrating our differences?
Isn’t catcalling a bit of a first world problem in comparison to what’s going on in other countries, gender wise?
I get what we’re trying to do here, but are we proposing problems or solutions? And while we’re on the topic, what are the solutions?
Are we also giving enough time to the gender role problems men face too, like rights over children or statutory rape charges when both parties were equally drunk and consensual?
Is the word FEMinism really all inclusive? Shouldn’t we consider changing it?

And then BAM, just like that, the crew I had devoted so many hours of my energy supporting, turned to face me with claws and teeth and spit and growls. I was told to check my privilege. I was labeled a sexist just for asking. I was condescendingly informed I was a white male, and so I would never understand. In fact, I am willing to bet money that some of you reading this right now, judge me on the same basis. How dare a boy write about feminism when he cannot comprehend what it’s like to be a victim? Just because he takes an interest in equality and wants girls to feel free from harm, does not give him a right to ask questions, correct? He is not a girl, and therefore will never know what it means. Be honest with yourself, is that what you were thinking? Don’t worry if it was, I’m used to it. But you have to at least recognise why, at this point, I started to wonder if feminism was a healthy movement after all. Once the curtain dropped and I had been attacked for asking things, I notice a new side to the story, which only provoked me to ask further questions and make louder jokes. Naturally that didnt help the situation whatsoever.

Its a difficult thing to explain without digging a hole, so I must firstly say #NotAllFeminists, and thank the various people who have taken the time to approach my concerns with intelligence and a solution-based mentality. Those are the girls (and boys) who give feminism a good name and helped the growth of my interest, and I appreciate them wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, such examples were few and far between. More often than not, I saw the word being driven by anger, by insecurity, by a bombardment of keywords, and a disregard to any opposing opinions. It was no wonder I had been feeling so negative lately! I had surrounded myself with hate! This was not a journey of positive change! This was a journey of barking and stress! And so regrettably, while still actively playing my part in the equality of genders by defending womens rights and going out of my way to make the girls in my own life feel safe and comfortable, I had to reluctantly turn my back on the word “feminism”.

And heres the thing. I am not alone.

As with anything in our world, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. The feminist culture has grown so massive and in-your-face, that the inevitable counterculture rose up in protest. And even though I find it mostly comedic, the Women Against Feminism facebook group was a real eye opener to me. It not only showed that feminists weren’t talking on behalf of females (they are talking on behalf of feminists, fyi), but also further revealed the ugly side of the movement. We have women fighting for the equality of women, but if other women didn’t agree with their methods, then they were the enemy along with everyone else—and of course, the enemy was always stupid. I dont know, something about that mentality didn’t sit right with me, perhaps because I figured equality was about freedom of opinions?

But now we had an active “pro-feminism/anti-feminism” debate going on, and as a result, it only exploded further. So much so, that in a recent poll conducted by Time Magazine, the word “feminism” was rated as one of the most annoying terms of 2014, up there with “bae”, “said no one ever” and “om nom nom nom” (note: they did retract this entry later, but the damage was done). Whichever side of the feminism fence you are on, this is a severe blow to the development, one which indicates a general public apathy towards the perpetual vomit of the topic forced upon us on a daily basis. People are getting sick of it, and that’s the most dangerous threat any idea can face.

It continues: not so long ago Amanda Palmer (a feminist icon to many) posted this link to her facebook, which explicitedly warns feminists against overdoing it. It’s worth the read in full, but here is an excerpt:

“...if feminism becomes like the boy who cried wolf—if girls, and women, cry sexism too readily and often—America will stop listening. The minute feminism becomes hypercritical and humorless, it becomes too easy for the mainstream to dismiss our more valid complaints.”

And these type of articles are not the anomaly, they are becoming the norm, especially in regards to how males are often ignored on the subject of equality. Men are no longer afraid to express concerns over the words exclusivity. Videos have surfaced attempting to highlight the double standards of gender domestic abuse and catcalling. Statistics are only now coming out that one in every nine rape victims are men. And while online harassment has recently grown into a hot topic for the feminist world, studies have shown that this too is not necessarily a girl issue.

Just quickly while were talking cyberbullying, we cannot ignore that at times, it is the feminists themselves who are carrying out the attack. Just a few days ago, Dr Matt Taylor was involved in the incredible feat of landing a probe on a comet—which should have been the greatest day of his life. Instead, it turned out to be the worst, as he went viral as a mysogonist for his misjudged choice of shirt, one displaying provocative images of anime characters, and the femternet tore him a new one, calling him every variation of a sexist under the stars until he cried. Perhaps his choice of attire may have been a little on the bad taste side (if nothing else, even in a fashion sense type of way), but it once again exposed the over-sensitivety and brutality of this community. Its just a fucking shirt, yet it shall stick to his reputation for the rest of his life.

All these things are damaging womens liberation too, as it starts to become a parody of itself and reflects badly on those who remember what the real fight was meant to be. How about the conspiracy that drug companies are using feminism against you? Or that adverts are exploiting little kids by paying them to swear about feminism just to sell shirts? These are only some of the examples about how the once beautiful intention of bringing genders closer together, has slowly turned into a war between who thinks what about feminism as a concept itself, rather than what its trying to accomplish. In fact, on any given day, just check Google news, and you are sure to find an almost even amount of reports supporting or questioning feminism (usually about feminism rather than what feminism is about), and none of them will make you feel any better.

But what about the celebrity support? The world cheered for Emma Watsons UN speech, and that was a huge win for the pro-feminist arena, right? Right! But lets not forget a big part of that was her careful inclusion of the social injustices towards men too, something so rare for a public figure to acknowledge that almost every headline focused on it. But even when considering this, there are countless celebrities who have distanced themselves from the word, including: Selma Hayek, Katy Perry, Lana Del Rey, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Bjork, Madonna, Susan Sarandon, and Demi Moore, to name a few. Does this make feminism look alive and well to you? Hell, even those who do believe in the movement are fighting. Its a mess.

To conclude, the problem here is that a lot of people get confused and consider “anti-feminism” to be synonymous with “anti-women and equal rights,” but this is not the case. It is against the culture, the moral superiority, the repetitiveness, and the rivalry, which is not a bad thing to be against. But even with that being said, I still see no need to be anti-feminist myself. I will forever pay attention to what is being spoken about, support what I believe in, skim over what I don’t, admire the past successes, and respect anyone who has this level of passion for anything. But based on how the community all too often neglects my gender and has embarked on a quest to find prejudice within any corner of conversation (at times, making it up if its not there), I can no longer associate that label with myself. Then again, maybe this all serves me right. Maybe I deserve the animosity. I am a male after all.

But finally, the real tragedy here is how close to change we nearly were. For almost a whole year, feminists had the mic, and the entire world was listening. The complication arose when no two feminists could seem to agree on what the priority was, and instead we, the listeners, were hit with a list of a hundred points, some of which contradicted each other and others of which were even rejected by their own comrades—which is just so typical female (lol, joke! That was a joke! Please dont judge this article by that line!). If we had only decided to tackle one issue at a time (say perhaps, the pay gap or catcalling), and focused all that energy and vocal power on destroying a specific factor of discrimination piece by piece, we probably would have solved at least two or three major issues by now instead of alienating and confusing the masses until they were bored with the conversation. And Im worried that at this advanced stage, it may be too late. We may have already blown it.

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How to win ex back when love still exists

New guest article: How to win ex back when love still exists at HelpGettingBackTogether.com

Do you want to win ex back? If you had a close, loving relationship with a man who later dumped you, you may want to get back together. You have a lot of emotional investment in the relationship, and may not want to throw it away without an attempt to reignite the flame. Here’s how to win ex back.

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My 5 Favourite Things On The Internet

I know what you are thinking: the internet is a pretty big place. Well, bravo, genius, did you come up with that all by yourself? Or did I just come up with it for you? It doesn’t matter, the fact is that, yes, it is a big place. I myself reached the end of the internet once, and it was a complete mess of long-forgotten cat images, a bunch of gore videos primarily focusing on genitalia, and a gigantic demon with Nicolas Cage’s face who claimed to have my bank details. It took a while to get home from there.

Just listen to me for one second. While the task of writing a list such as this may seem impossible to some one like you, I am no ordinary person. For example: the ring and pinkie toe on my right foot do not bend. There are other things too, Im sure. I reckon by now this introduction has reached a decent enough length so that it wraps around the main image, and now I will move on.

05. The Beetlejuice Twitter Bot

Imagine my horror when, upon writing this entry, I discovered that this once beloved Twitter account was now defunct, the genius retiring the idea around August this year. GODDMANIT, WHY DOES EVERYTHING I LOVE END UP LEAVING ME?

But even if its existence has evaporated into the afterlife, its presence still lingers in the joy it once granted me, hence why I cherish its memory by keeping this point intact. I just feel sorry for you lot only discovering this anomaly now, as you will never know the joy of tweeting the words “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” only to have this bot proudly spring into action upon your mentions, proclaiming “ITS SHOWTIME!”, just like in the mooovie! Lolyay!

A moment of silence for its passing, and while we do that, let’s look at some other funny botty Twitter accounts in hopes that this passage justifies its worth afterall.

Yes, You’re Racist
An account which calls out people who tweet “I’m not racist, but...” because any sentence that starts that way is more than likely racist.

Your in America Bot
An account which corrects people when they say something to the effect of “Your in America, speak English!” Oh, the irony.

Stealth Mountain
Similarly, this account corrects people when they say “sneak peak” instead of “sneak peek”. I enjoy such things.

04. The Same Photo of Jim Carrey Every Day Facebook Page

Nothing will brighten up your life more than the same photo of Jim Carrey, every single morning, delivered straight to your Newsfeed. Trust me, I live a very active and rewarding existence, but when this post shows its smiling face, I know my beautiful day has truly just begun. And I am not alone, as the page itself boasts over 150,000 Likes, while the identical image racks up 1000s of further Likes on a daily basis—many of which are my friends. They probably dont know this, but I desperately spend most of my early hours attempting to Like said post before they get a chance, as if some sick competitive ritual.

However, the secret magic of this image lies not in the daily delivery, but in the comments. Here you will find many different users honouring the practice of routinely commenting the exact same thing every day, to the point of madness. There are many, but the most popular by far revolve around Cody’s story, like so:

“Its good to see that in this world of changing chaos, that there are some things that will never change” - Cody Hendricks (close to 200 Likes a day)
“Lean on me, when youre not strong. And Ill be your friend.” - The Official Page’s response to Cody Hendricks (over 50 Likes every day)
“Im not the Cody youre looking for.” - Cody Mann (around 100 Likes a day)

Naturally, it doesn’t end there, and so I encourage you to go forth and find your own favourites, whilst welcoming the safe regularity of this wonderful distraction.

03. Spinal Tap’s IMDB Rating Goes to 11

If you haven’t seen This Is Spinal Tap, you should. Immediately. Stop reading, find it online, watch it, and then come back. Do not eat nor sleep nor speak nor fuck your boyfriend nor lick your teeth until you get this done, and then thank me in the comments below, to which Ill respond with "you’re welcome".

Did you do what I said? If so, great! I have a few more things I’d like you to do, mail me for details. And please continue reading.
If you have already seen the mockumentary, good on ya! You understand the importance of keeping up-to-date on significant cult classics. And please continue reading.
However, if you have chosen to proceed without viewing the film, you are an idiot, and I experience no guilt as I ruin this particular scene for you, primarily because the “up to eleven” idiom has become such a large part of popular culture parodies, that you’ve missed far too many jokes already. In a way, I’m actually just helping you out. Once again, you’re welcome.

ANYWAY, a very quick summary: the scene in question from the film presents guitarist Nigel Tufnel, as he shows-off the Spinal Tap Marshall amplifiers, which go to volume 11 rather than 10. It’s one louder.

Here is that exact same thing I described, except the actual video clip, which I probably should started have with.

Which brings us to the great dudes at IMDB, who recognised the significance of such a potent line, and took it upon themselves to ensure that this movie’s rating went to 11. God bless you all, really.

02. All Wikipedia Articles Lead to Philosophy

Unlike the other entries on this list, the “All Wikipedia Articles Lead to Philosophy” phenomenon is just that: a phenomenonon. This was not some intentional man made lolsies, but rather, something that just kinda ... happened.

It works like this: by clicking on the very first (non-parenthesized, non-italicised, non-external) link in the main text of any Wikipedia article, and then continuing to do so as you ride along subsequent articles, you have a 94.52% chance of ending up on the Philosophy page (usually within 23 clicks). Granted, you may get stuck in a loop or fall on a linkless piece, but that more than likely won’t happen. Try it yourself! Go to a random article and start clicking! Count your steps! Tell your friends! LOVE YOURSELF.

And you know what the best part about this is? Nobody is entirely sure why it happens, ooooooh. However, there are some theories, the most popular of which stating that (due to the Wikipedia Manual of Style guidelines on how to write the lead section of an article) contributors are encouraged to start an article by defining its topic, leading the user into a wider more umbrella subject. And seeing as philosophy is known as the "mother of all sciences", I guess it kinda makes sense that every road leads there. Man, that’s some deep shit.

01. Futurama Neutral Balance YouTube Likes

I have no strong feelings one way or the other.

Which is to say, I do! I really do! I mean, what is going on here? WHO KEEPS DOING THIS????

It’s pretty much the simplest thing ever: Six years ago some dude uploaded a 4 second video to YouTube, a clip from Futurama titled Neutral Response, and the internet decided they liked this. In fact, they liked it so much that theyve watched it over 4,850,000 times. And, before we knew it, a suicidal mission had developed, one to maintain the neutral balance, proving that we all have strong feelings about having no strong feelings one way or the other. If you’re confused, just look at the Likes and Dislikes, and then you’ll be part of the team. Godspeed.

Of course, as is the nature with such a fragile system, it has become a little bit of a war, and there will always be those kids on the playground who want to watch the world burn. With that in mind, you might be unfortunate enough to see the Likes/Dislikes sway one way or another, much to everyone’s embarrassment. However, generally by simply refreshing the page, you should find that order has been swiftly restored. If not, maybe try help rectify the situation yourself? Be a pal. Make yourself useful for once.

Regardless, it’s my favourite thing on the internet, excluding this one porno video where Hillary Scott takes it ass to pussy over and over again, risking an infection but proving she is a professional whose priority is to please the part of my perverse brain which has retarded beyond recognition.


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Stop My Divorce

Divorces are at an all time high.  Sometimes it seems that it’s easier to get a divorce than to get married. 
People get hurt in divorce.  The parties are forever scarred.  Children, if there are any, never get over the hurt.  Knowing this, you may be wondering “How do I stop my divorce?”
There are three steps to stopping a divorce. 
The first thing that you have to realize is that saying you’ve changed does not mean you really have changed.  If you are the person who is at fault in the relationship, it’s not enough to give lip service to the idea of change.
If you have been having affairs, for instance, it is going to take time for your partner to believe that you are no longer going back to your wandering ways.  It is not enough to tell your partner that you’re not stepping out anymore.  You will have to take concrete actions.  As an example, you may need to allow your partner to “monitor” your activities by checking in with him or her on a frequent basis.  If your job requires you to travel, you may have to look for a new job that keeps you close to home.
Other things besides affairs can mess up a relationship.  For instance, if the wife’s spending habits are causing money problems which weaken the marriage, she may have to commit to cutting up the credit cards and living on a cash allowance.  If the husband’s work habits keep him away from home too often, he may have to commit to being home by 6:30 every night no matter what.  At the crux of this step is what is the most important thing in your life?  If it is your marriage, you will make the necessary changes.  But don’t just give lip service to them.  Actions speak louder than words.
The next step is to avoid using emotional blackmail if you want to stop your divorce.  Recognize that love is NOT enough to save your marriage.  Telling your partner, “but I love you” in the heat of an argument will not win you any points.  When you say “I love you” at inappropriate times, your partner is forced to say “I love you, BUT…”  this weakens the emotional tie that love has between you.
Use the powerful “I love you” message when your wounds are mended, not at the heat of an argument. 
You can’t use logic or guilt to change your partner’s mind.  Arguing like this will only involve a spiraling argument.  If you feel you must win, then you will lose.  
Finally, don’t think that you can win an argument.  Some people like to use their superior logic or argumentative skills to “prove” they are right and their partner is wrong.  This may work in a formally scored debate, but in a marriage (which is scored on emotions not facts) it’s sure to fail.  Instead of arguing, solve the problem.  If your spouse brings up a fault in you, discuss possible solutions rather than argue back. 
Are you wondering how to “stop my divorce?”  Start by following the “stop my divorce” advice I’ve laid out in this article.
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How to regain your ex girlfriend

Recovering your loved one is not a Herculean job. What it requires is time, patience and also several tricks and also tactics. There are numerous ideas on how to get the ex girlfriend back again, that are incredibly useful.

The initial step on how to get your ex girlfriend back again, is always to discontinue any kind of contact between the both of you. No calls, no text messages and also no email messages of any kind. Possess a little patience and also have a distance for several weeks. Meanwhile you must take control of your emotions, too, and also do not appear to be desperate. No matter what you carry out, Don’t keep thinking about “does my ex girlfriend still love me” or “does my ex girlfriend have feelings for me.” You should be optimistic and also this will support you in getting her back again towards your life. When you possess a chance encounter with her at a party or certain places, just look relaxed and also say “hello”, that’s it. Don’t seem eager to want to speak to her because this can make you seem eager and also she might sense this. The conversation, whenever any, should just be relaxed and also never go back to or bring up the separation. The formula on how to get your ex girlfriend back, is to appear to be confident in yourself. Once you have established excellent conversation, at this point you can offer to buy her a beverage, yet don’t press it. Leave it up to her to accept the drink or not and also whenever she doesn’t, then behave like it’s not a big deal. As the conversation continues and also she seems more calm and also at ease with you, start chatting about general topics. You can create subtle remarks in regards to the wonderful memories you had together. When she responds optimistic, then you can continue to touch about the two of you.

A second way of how to get your ex girlfriend back again, is to show a few signs that a person is giving you notice. When she actually is noticeably disappointed, and then these could be signs your ex still loves you and also desires to resolve some misconception between the two of you. Never go crazy although as you can get her run away. Reassure her that she has your undivided attention. All of this will surely make her realize what has been forgotten and also bring her one step closer to you. You certainly owe it to yourself to find happiness in your life, on the other hand don’t over consume yourself in trying to get her back again. Enjoy your life and also do what can make you cheerful. When you try too rigorously to get her back again, she is going to discover this and also soon be off once again.

Issue right now is, is she worthwhile? Follow all these guidelines on how to get your ex girlfriend back again. It requires much self-discipline and also self-confidence to get what you are after yet as soon as the objective is reached, it’ll deliver much happiness in to both your lives. Start your new life together now. Never ever quit quickly! Your life will likely be changed just simply because of your perseverance.

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The 10 Best Album Cover Artworks of 2014

(according to me)

10. Steel Panther - All You Can Eat

Designed by Trevor Niemann (who has worked with Blondie, Korn, Danny Elfman, My Chemical Romance, Mötley Crüe, etc etc etc) and shot by David Jackson (explore his great commercial work and even watch behind the scene footage from this very project here), Ill admit that this masterpiece isnt everyones cup of Jesus Juice. Truth be told, I have even seen the above artwork on some "worst of" 2014 lists already, but allow me to explain why everyone is wrong and I am right, using three simple words: Girls. And. Blasphemy. It suits the band so well! My naughty bone quivers! The devil in me laughs! Hahaha!

09. Benighted - Carnivore Sublime

Designed by Aborted vocalist Sven de Caluwé, this image has two versions of itself in circulation: the more gory diseased twin (which you can see here), and the more nurturing feminine rendition above, which I honestly consider to be the far darker of the duo. What are you gonna do with that baby there, ma’am? You may have also noticed OMG A NIPPLE, which is a thing I like, but also a thing Facebook does not like, point proven when they promptly suspended the band’s account immediately after said artwork was revealed online. Ah well, no publicity is bad publicity, right?

08. J Mascis - Tied to a Star

Dinosaur Jr. singer J Mascis has grown quite attached to artist Marq Spusta over the years, enlisting the man to illustrate much of his band’s work as well as his own solo efforts on top of that (pay careful attention to 2011’s Several Shades of Why as it looks like a scene just only over the hill from here). And there are plenty of reasons as to why: Marqs instantly recognisable character design casually toys with the line between innocence and insanity; his portfolio is forever growing at a dangerous pace; and he even produced an organic beer label once upon a time. The alcoholic living in my stomach loves that fact.

07. Paloma Faith - A Perfect Contradiction

I’ve read some people stating how much they hate this album cover, labelling it too “over the top” and “egocentric”, which is fair. However, I have this weird reoccurring dream where Im surrounded by a whole bunch of Paloma Faiths and were partaking in some questionable activities, so this image does kinda fulfil a pervy gap in me somewhere, intentional or not. I also quite like the whole Entombment of Christ reference, its nice. Furthermore, it may be worth mentioning that this shot was styled by Karl Willet who has done work for Geri Halliwell, Jessie J, and Sugababes in his time. Actually wait, that wasnt worth mentioning at all, sorry, ignore that.

06. Wrestlerish - Greater Goods and Lesser Evils

Represent! From my home country of South Africa, these pop rock dudes (and lady) did very well with this record, everybody loved it. And the artwork itself is a big part of that, in the “kinda creeps me out but I still want to own it” type of way—which is exactly what I look for in a woman, let alone an album. They also kept the spirit of the project local, as this shot was provided by fellow South African Hanro Havenga, which makes me prouder still of my motherland, despite the fact that I ran away from my mother six years ago. However, I do have one complaint, which is that Wrestlerish broke up shortly after this release, and I don’t agree with that decision whatsoever. Anyways, hey Werner.
(On a side note, did anyone else notice how similar this artwork is to Wye Oak’s Shriek album, also from this year? Except Wrestlerish’s attempt was actually good?)

05. Anubis Gate - Horizons

Nikos Markogiannakis is a Greek artist whose work has blessed some big names in its time, such as Counting Crows, Ellie Goulding, and Killswitch Engage, for which I’m sure he got paid nicely to do so. However, when he created the above piece, he did it as a personal project, money never the objective, this image already completed long before Anubis Gate’s vocalist Kim Olesen accidentally surfed upon it and fell in love. “Once I saw it, I craved it,” Kim explained. “It was so dead on with my visual image of the album, it was almost eerie. I had goosebumps. And once it was chosen it started to influence the last stages of the creation of the album.” So there you go, one of the few examples where the artwork inspired the music, and not the other way around.

04. Weezer - Everything Will Be Alright in the End

Our story begins with artist Chris McMahon who one day got the bright idea to buy some cheap landscape paintings at a thrift store, and then deface/enhance them with awkward looking monsters, blending them in with the original scenery so well that they appeared like they had always been chilling there. Understandably, McMahon was quite stoked with the result, and posted his creations to Reddit in hopes of earning a few upvotes and back pats. So did it work? Uhm, yeah it did. For not only did Reddit praise his art so immensely that they hit the front page of the internet, but such a public admiration caught the eye of Weezer vocalist Rivers Cuomo, who eventually interrupted Chris whilst he was getting his hair done to ask permission to use the above piece for their new album. "I left with half a haircut because I was so excited at that point," Chris explains, and when you compare the cover to some of Weezer’s previous work (remember Hurley??), as well noting that this album is easily the band’s best record for over a decade ... well, I get excited too.

03. Liars - Mess

A rare case wherein the band makes their own artwork and it doesn’t suck, this colourful wreck was designed by Liars drummer Julian Gross who is also known for working closely with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and their art jobbies. The concept itself was inspired by contemporary artist Urs Fischer and conceptual artist John Baldessari, intended to express the band’s “uneasiness towards life in a fucked up, but most importantly, vibrant way,” which is fairly standard if you ask me. Even better, was that the limited edition copies of the vinyl came with their own flashy strings vacuum sealed within, which you could use as shoelaces or to decorate your head with, whatever you liked.

02. SBTRKT - Wonder Where We Land

SBTRKT’s trademark is that you never see the man behind the mask, but do you know about the man behind the man behind the mask? No, you don’t, no one does, because designer A Hidden Place is also an anonymous artist (check his barely updated tumblr here), but together with SBTRKT, they create the faces which this musician is famous for. However, with Wonder Where We Land, they took it one step further by creating a SBTRKT monkeydogthing sitting in the palm of a hand, which has some deeper meaning I’m sure, but I honestly chose it for one reason: those colours are fucking perfect. And hey, you know what else is cool? That time they gave everyone in the crowd their own SBTRKT mask at Bestival recently. Yay! Album was a touch disappointing though.

01. Pharmakon - Bestial Burden

To fully comprehend the intensity of this image, one must (a) listen to the equally traumatic music within; and then (b) learn the story behind the concept. It was about a year ago when Margaret Chardiet (aka Pharmakon) almost died from an internal cyst so large that her insides began to terminate, eventually resulting in the removal of one of her undisclosed organs. The healing process was lengthy and painful, but inspired Bestial Burden as a “desire to show the body as a lump of flesh and cells that mutate and fail you and betray you—this very banal, unimportant, grotesque aspect of ourselves.” And there we have it, a grim scene where the insides are outside and butchered bits of animal innards are displayed on her torso with talons glued to her fingertips—very accurately portraying the nightmare of her ordeal as well as the musical terror itself. Disturbing, yes, but there is some love in the image too, as it was shot by her sister Jane Chardiet (from ambient-noise band Appetite), which at least proves that fucked-upness runs in the family somewhat. D’aaaw <3


Other Brilliants
Die Antwoord - Donker Mag
Arch Enemy - War Eternal
Septicflesh - Titan
Paws - Youth Culture Forever
The Roots - ...And Then You Shoot Your Cousin
White Suns - Totem
Carla Bozulich - Boy
September Girls - Cursing The Sea


The 10 Worst Album Cover Artworks of 2014
exists too...

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The 10 Coolest Things The Beatles Ever Did

I’m not sure whether you know The Beatles or not, but I totally recommend you check them out, they’re pretty good. So good, in fact, that the most difficult aspect of writing this article about my favourite band of all time, was to only include 10 points instead of 50. They have achieved so much! They continue to achieve so much! I am so proud of them! Which is why I grew quite overwhelmed and panicky as to which angle was the best to attack this demanding subject with.

I mean, I could easily flood your mind with facts like, for example, in 1964, when The Beatles occupied the top five positions of the U.S. Billboard singles chart, the top two positions on the U.S. album chart, the #1 slot on the British singles chart, the top two positions on the British album chart, and the #1 position on the British EP chart, all at the same time. Itd be almost too predictable to go on about how they are the highest selling band ever, or how they’ve had more #1 singles than anybody, or how they’ve had the most #1 albums since #1 existed. Yes, they hold the record for the longest span between #1 albums (36 years, 51 weeks). Yes, they’ve spent a total of 174 weeks at #1, more than any other artist in history. We know theyve won three Brit Awards, nine Grammys, and an Oscar. We know they were granted MBEs. Its common knowledge that the Guinness World Records recognises McCartney as the most successful songwriter of all time, with his 188 charted records, as well as his song Yesterday (which he wrote in his sleep) having been covered by more than 2,200 artists. The man in question is also the only human being to have a #1 hit song solo; as part of a duo (Ebony and Ivory with Stevie Wonder), a trio (Wings), a quartet (The Beatles), and a quintet (Get Back, The Beatles with Billy Preston). I could even focus on how each Beatle performed vocals, or how they brought Eastern influence into Western musical culture, or how they achieved all of this in only ten years. Fuck man, I could talk about a whole load of things, but I won’t. Even though I just did.

Rather, I decided to target the following 10 Beatles facts on some of the lesser-known Fab Four accomplishments. Things which have either been forgotten or continuously overlooked by fans and enemies alike. It’s actually rather criminal how unspoken some of these magnificent triumphs are, which is why I took it upon myself to spread the word of The Beatles’ genius as far as I could. Because obviously they need my help.

Appreciate:

10. The Beatles Invented The World Tour And The Stadium Rock Concert

In the mid-1960s, the British Invasion took place. Bands like The Rolling Stones and The Who had finally outgrown their little island and broke straight into the center of the U.S.A. And naturally, this phenomenon was lead by The Beatles themselves, who by 1964, had their own unique form of hysteria following them around, coined as Beatlemania. The fact that their hair was too long didn’t bother the teenagers, as they screamed and fainted and wet themselves at the very mention of the group, all over the globe.

So naturally, there was money to be made, and it was decided to send the boys out to perform for the masses, from Europe to Japan to Australia to Canada and, of course, to the U.S.A. All the while the kids made so much noise that the band couldnt even hear what they were playing, at times performing completely different songs to each other, and yet nobody cared. This was the first world tour in history.

A year later on their third world tour, The Beatles took it to the next level, and played in front of a 55,000 strong crowd at Shea Stadium, New York. Once again, the audience was deafening, who "couldnt possibly have heard anything but their own screams. For that matter, they didnt seem to want to." It got so ridiculous that Lennon started playing the keyboard with his elbows, but I doubt anyone at the Beatles camp were all too bothered. They earned a record breaking $304,000 for that 30 minute gig, and had inadvertently invented the stadium rock concert.

On a side note, you know how these days it is common place for the drummer to be raised a bit higher than the rest of the band, so that the crowd can see him/her better? Ringo invented that too.

09. The Beatles Were The First Earth Band Heard By Aliens. Theoretically.

In 2008, to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the song, the 45th anniversary of the DSN, and the 50th anniversary of NASA, the latter set up a 70 meter dish in Spain, and blasted Lennon’s 1969 track Across The Universe straight towards the star Polaris, 431 light years away. Which basically means that The Beatles have not only been played on every corner of our planet, but perhaps millions more? I’m not sure how space works.

People are quick to point out that this was only the second song to be transmitted into the cosmos, as Russia had done a similar project back in 2001. However, their attempt was that of a theremin concert, which if anything would probably provoke aliens to invade, and I for one do not condone this type of aggression. Other critics consider the program to be ludicrous, as we have no evidence suggesting there are even any planets in that area, let alone if they’d be suitable for life. But while these words flowed out like endless rain into a paper cup, the rest of us thought it was pretty neat.

Across The Universe is one of my least favourite Beatles songs ever, but it was still an apt choice. Much better than, say, A Day In The Life, which ends with a 15-kilohertz high-frequency tone, specifically included to annoy dogs. I mean, that’s a pretty funny move on the band’s part, but I think we should leave the space dogs out of this. They have enough problems of their own.

08. The Beatles Invented The Music Video

In all fairness, the history of the “music video” can be traced back to the 1920s, where “musical short films” started to show their faces, and were quickly followed by 1930s musical cartoons (like those Disney Silly Symphonies and whatnot). The 1940s produced a lot of short musicals with dance sequences, and the 1950s introduced visual jukeboxes, all of which aided the evolution of what today is known as the music video.

But it wasn’t until the sequences in The Beatles’ first feature film, A Hard Day’s Night (1964), that the template for current music videos was born. A year later, their 1965 film Help! progressed it even further, in particular the title track’s segment which featured contrasting long shots, close ups, cross-cutting, and weird camera angles, which went on to be called the prime archetype of the modern day performance-style music video.

Later that year, The Beatles began to regularly produce “promotional clips”; films designed to promote their latest single without the boys having to appear anywhere in person. Sound familiar? This technique eventually evolved into 1967’s Strawberry Fields Forever/Penny Lane videos, which were the first to step away from performance based recordings, and rather focusing on a more narrative structure by utilising reversed film, slow motion and avant-garde colouring. It kinda changed everything.

"So, uh, in a way, I guess we invented MTV." - George Harrison

Not to mention that The Beatles films themselves also had their unfair share of influence. Allow acclaimed film critic Roger Ebert to elaborate: "Today when we watch TV and see quick cutting, hand-held cameras, interviews conducted on the run with moving targets, quickly intercut snatches of dialogue, music under documentary action and all the other trademarks of the modern style, we are looking at the children of A Hard Days Night".

07. The Beatles Were Involved In Some Very Peculiar Conspiracy Theories

It’s debatable as to whether The Beatles actually “did” this or not, but according to many, there are some very dark underlying secrets to this band’s history. Probably the most interesting, was that of Paul McCartney dying in a 1966 car accident, and ultimately replaced by an impostor. Some extremely convincing face analysis aside, the theory goes that The Beatles were so ashamed of what they’d done, that they placed clues in their artwork and lyrics to confess the story and feel much better about themselves. There are literally hundreds of them, but my favourites include:

Sgt Pepper (click here to admire the cover)
A Day In The Life: “He blew his mind out in a car”
The yellow flower arrangement resembles the name “PAUL?”, or a left-handed bass, with one of the four strings missing.
A flaming car.
A Shirley Temple doll with "Welcome The Rolling Stones" on her jumper, a toy car on her lap, and a bloodied glove to her side.
A hand over Paul’s head, blessing the dead.
The best one: when placing a mirror across the drums center, it reads 1ONE1X HE DIE, with an arrow pointing at Paul.
On the back cover, Paul is facing backwards.

The White Album
Glass Onion: “Heres another clue for you all, the walrus was Paul”
I’m So Tired: The end incoherent mumbling reversed sounds like “Paul is dead, man. Miss him, miss him, miss him.”
Revolution 9: "Number nine" reversed sounds like “Turn me on, dead man."
Page 7 of the booklet shows skeletal hands coming out to grab Paul.

Abbey Road (click here to admire the cover)
Come Together: "One and one and one makes three"
Paul is barefoot, has a different leg forward to the others, and is smoking.
By joining the dots on the back cover, it reads 3 Beatles (cracked).

There are faaaar too many others to list here, but it’s worth your research even if just for a lol.

Related: there is another heavy case circulating which suggests John Lennon’s assassination was ordered by the CIA, but I’ll leave you people to Google that one for yourself.

06. The Beatles Wrote The Rolling Stones’ First Top 20 Hit Song

Something which has always amused me is the persistent yet fruitless debate over which band was better: The Beatles or The Rolling Stones. I puke! For even if we ignore how many bad albums the Stones have (a lot) versus how many bad albums The Beatles have (uhm, none) or that the Stones charge up to £950 for the chance to see them live whilst The Beatles were a shooting star never to be seen again; there is another little often ignored fact about the relationship between these two legends which people tend to forget. The Beatles Wrote The Rolling Stones’ First Top 20 Hit Song.

In 1963, the two bands bumped into each other and struck up a conversation. Jagger and Richards complained that they needed a new single, and being the nice guys they were, the Lennon/McCartney duo decided to help them out. The two Beatles joined the Stones at their studio session and then quickly wrote a song right in front of their stunned faces, jaws wide open as Jagger-Richards realised they sucked in comparison and had to improve their game dramatically. Which, thankfully, they did.

The song was called I Wanna Be Your Man, and it hit #12 in the UK, giving the Stones their very first chart success story. The Beatles then later re-recorded the song themselves, with Ringo on vocals. Did this mean they were regretful that they’d parted ways with such an obvious winner? Evidently not, as Lennon had the following to say on the matter:

"It was a throwaway. The only two versions of the song were Ringo and the Rolling Stones. That shows how much importance we put on it. We werent going to give them anything great, right?"

05. The Beatles Secretly Hid Naughty Words In Their Lyrics

Despite all their love-centric compositions and early overuse of the "yeah yeah yeah" phrase, The Beatles were still vulgar pranksters at heart, carefully slipping bad words into their songs so slyly that most Beatlemaniacs still have no idea what they are singing along to. Here are my top five:

Girl (1965) - Around the 1:00 mark, Harrison and McCartney repeat the word "tit tit tit" over and over again, Beach Boys fashion.

Baby, Youre a Rich Man (1967) - Aimed at their gay Jewish manager, Brian Epstein, many claim Lennon alters the lyric to say "Baby, you’re a rich fag Jew" right at the end.

Penny Lane (1967) - Around the 1:36 mark, McCartney states "Four of fish and finger pies", a reference to fish and chips, as well as fingering a lady part.

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds (1967) - Lennon denied this song’s initials intentionally spelt out LSD, but he was on fuckloads of acid at the time, so I’m not sure we can take his word for it.

Hey Jude (1968) - Despite still being played on the radio, the 2:47 mark of this song contains the words "Whoa! Fucking hell!". Who said it? And why? Who cares, they left it in anyways.

Related: There was also Lennon’s not-so-hidden blasphemous screams of "Christ, you know it ain’t easy" and "theyre gonna crucify me" on The Ballad of John and Yoko, which was pretty controversial for 1969. Well, they were more popular than Jesus, after all.

Finally (and on topic), The Beatles not only knew grimy words, but they also made them up, as the term “grotty” (grotesque) was first coined by George Harrison in their aforementioned film A Hard Day’s Night. Good show, lads.

04. The Beatles Sent Brian Wilson Into Madness

Welcome to a creative tennis match of biblical proportions. It begins in the wake of The Beatles’ 1965 masterpiece Rubber Soul, the first album in history hailed as an ALBUM, rather than a collection of singles lifted by filler. The Beach Boys’ Brian Wilson was particularly inspired by the approach, and “answered” with his own solid collection of songs in 1966, namely Pet Sounds. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? It’s only one of the highest regarded albums of all time. So much so, that even The Beatles felt they had been outdone.

Taking on Pet Sounds as their main blueprint, The Beatles released Sgt. Pepper in 1967. It was an attempt at equalling the Beach Boys’ treasure, yet instead snatched the bar from Wilson’s fingers and raised it impossibly higher. Almost all too often, Pepper is hailed as the greatest album of all time, it’s place in history outgrowing Pet Sounds substantially. And that’s when shit went wrong.

Wilson had been working feverishly on his follow up, SMiLE. However, upon hearing Strawberry Fields Forever, he laughed that The Beatles had “beaten him to it”, whilst the little clock of insanity began to chime in his mind. Shortly afterwards, he visited McCartney, who played him A Day in the Life, and Wilson was said to be deeply affected by it. Couple this with an excessive intake of LSD and amphetamines, and Brian couldn’t bear it anymore. He scrapped the SMiLE sessions, had a nervous breakdown, and sat in a sauna for three years straight, voices in his brain threatening to kill him at every head turn.

Wilson came back to reality eventually, and even released SMiLE 35 fucking years later, but it was frequent musical collaborator Van Dyke Parks who described this reclusive period the best:

"Brian had a nervous collapse. What broke his heart was Sgt. Pepper."

03. The Beatles Invented Heavy Metal (And Heavily Influenced Hip Hop)

In 1968, one very erratic and bloated classic named The White Album arrived, featuring an eclectic mix of 20 songs which ranged from psychedelic rock to blues to avant garde, and yes, even to heavy metal. The song on topic was McCartney’s penned Helter Skelter, which was so loud and dirty that almost all music historians concur it was a key influence in the early development of the metal genre. However, it is generally agreed that the first metal band ever was Black Sabbath, and when you consider that Ozzy credits the 1963 Lennon/McCartney composition She Loves You as his main inspiration for becoming a musician, it only further fuels my case.

Side facts: 1969s I Want You (Shes So Heavy) is also cited as one of the first metal songs ever, whilst Helter Skelter itself was one of the first songs to utilise the fade-out fade-back-in technique in history.

But while these influences are common knowledge, are you aware of The Beatles’ impact on hip hop culture? Experimental West Coast producer Nobody stated "Like Tomorrow Never Knows. We all agree thats, like, the first electronic song, because its all tape loops. It is kind of like the way people go about doing beats these days. They didnt have a key change in the song." Influential Roots drummer ?uestlove praised them with "You have to understand the way they created these records. They had [only] four to eight tracks to work with. Technology wasnt like it is today." and rapper Q-Tip also sucked their dick with "They would lay the music down, manipulate it, fuck with it, try to push it, which is the hip-hop aesthetic." There you go.

Finally, on Paul McCartney’s solo 1969 song That Would Be Something, we can also find one of the first recorded examples of beat boxing.

02. The Beatles Convinced Charles Manson To Murder People

This entry isn’t as “cool” as it is “weird”, but it’s fascinating all the same. Because Charles Manson wasn’t right in the head, and after developing his Manson Family cult and hearing The White Album for the first time, he decided the band was talking to him personally, prophesying some rather unsettling events. Now, this may seem a little far-fetched, but there was a bit of twisted smarts behind it. Manson believed that, as it was predicted in the Bible, Revelation (Revolution) 9, four angels (The Beatles) would appear with hair like a womans, breastplates of fire (electric guitars) issuing brimstone from their mouths (lyrics), accompanied by locusts (beetles) to usher in the end of the world.

Due to the title “The White Album” and the recent assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr., not to mention songs like Revolution 1, Blackbird, Rocky Racoon and Happiness is a Warm Gun, Manson interpreted the message as one of an inevitable violent race war, and adopted the name Helter Skelter for the apocalyptic battle in his head.

After sending The Beatles countless telegrams in an attempt to convince them to join the cause, Manson decided they would have to start the race war themselves by showing “the blacks how to do it”. And we all know the rest: murders took place, including that of the pregnant American sex symbol Sharon Tate, who was stabbed sixteen times by member (Sexy) Sadie. And even more Beatles-y was their trademark of decorating each crime scene with Beatles song titles using the victims blood, such as “pig” (Piggies), and “Healter Skelter” [sic].

They got caught, and naturally all went to jail, Manson still living there to this day. And, of course, the lovey-dovey Beatles didn’t support this behaviour whatsoever, McCartney stating it was unfortunate that his song inspired people to do evil deeds, and Lennon confirming Charlie was "barmy". No shit.

01. The Beatles Influenced Every Subsequent Album On The Planet

I challenge you to challenge me. Pick up your favourite album, then check if any one of the following applies:

1. Does it have a concept?
Sgt. Pepper is often credited as the first album to popularise the technique.

2. Does it feature the lyrics in the cover?
Again, Sgt. Pepper was the first.

3. Does it contain a hidden track?
Once again, Sgt. Pepper was the first album to have one of these. Abbey Road was the second.

4. Does it feature multitracking?
It does. When only four-track machines were available, The Beatles would record their four, then bounce these recordings back into another single track, giving room for three more to play with. They were the first to think of it.

5. Does it feature feedback/distortion?
I Feel Fine was the first recording to purposefully utilise these processes.

6. Does it feature sampling?
Yellow Submarine is often hailed as the first song to sample.

7. Does it feature any backwards guitar and/or vocals?
Rain was the first song to feature reversed vocals. Tomorrow Never Knows/I’m Only Sleeping were the first to feature reversed cymbals/guitar.

8. Does it feature flanging?
Most likely. Automatic double tracking was Lennon’s idea, Abbey Road engineer Ken Townsend made it happen, Lennon named it. Tomorrow Never Knows was the first song to use it.

9. Is the artwork even remotely good?
Before Sgt. Pepper, album covers generally cost around £50 to make. They spent £3,000 on that image, and changed everything in the process.
Furthermore: The first printed copies of The White Album were individually numbered, an expensive gimmick beyond even what most artists would dare to attempt today.

10. Does it contain a song over 7 minutes?
Hey Jude is 7:11, the then longest single to top the charts, ever. Such a length wouldn’t even fit onto the vinyl, and they had to alter the grooves just to cater for it. The fade out was not intentional, the record was literally losing space.

Enough said? Almost...


And In The End:
If nothing else, I hope this article has proven to you that The Beatles were rad.
Like, did you know they were the first to produce seamless song ordering, where one song would run into the next without a gap, on Sgt. Pepper?
Or how about their 1964 Ed Sullivan Show appearance, where rumour has it not a single crime was reported in America during the hour of their performance, simply because everyone was watching them and because they were superheroes?
Or how about when they invented the rap beef, which I wrote about extensively in this article, here (point 14).
Or how about when they invented the Apple Corporation, which is different to Apple Inc., sure, but it did provoke countless lawsuits, and come to think of it, the Hard Days Night artwork does look suspiciously like an iOS prototype?
Or how about when their 1967 satellite broadcast of All You Need is Love was the first live global television link in entertainment history, being watched by 400 million people in 26 countries, the single largest television audience at that point?

Like I said, I could write a lot more, but my friends tell me that I ramble too much in these blogs, so Ill just leave it here, satisfied that I did good by assuming everyone had a nice time. xxx


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